psychotherapy

Children's books for parents

The Drama of the Gifted Child : The Search for the True Self    by Alice Miller, Ruth Ward (Translator). The gifted, doted upon, child often grows to be a narcissist. Anatomy of a gift as a curse. "When I read this book for the first time in the early eighties, it completely swept me off my feet. Here was an analysis that explained why I was in search of my 'true self', why I felt my achievements were 'empty', why I felt empathy for others and antipathy for myself. The idea proposed by Alice Miller, in a nutshell, was that there are children who are able to feel and ease the emotional insecurity of their mothers (the 'gift' of the title), thus gain her love but in the process deny their own desires. These children grow up to become helpers in various roles, including therapists - like Alice Miller herself. They develop sensors for the subconscious signals of the needs of others. The problem is, they subconsciously deny themselves the pursuit of their own needs, and consequently cannot become who they 'are'. Which makes them prone to the illnesses which, according to the Freudian theory, go with suppressed desires depression and grandiosity (the latter being just a way of keeping depression at bay)."

 

 

Common Sense Parenting: A Proven Step-By-Step Guide for Raising Responsible Kids and Creating Happy Families    by Raymond V. Burke, Ronald W. Herron, Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, Ray Burke Ph. D. "When it comes to reading advice about parenting, what we've discovered is that parents like to be spoken to in a direct, common sense manner. No need to use flowery or highbrowed language, just give me some tips and I'll take it from there. Like the name implies, this book and the like-titled audiotape delivers the goods. Common sense tips and good ideas presented in an easy to read and listen to format. Parents mentioned that they really liked the written exercises which serve to help reinforce what you've learned. Here is a logical sensible approach to parenting, featuring good examples that our parents give a thumbs ups."

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls    by Rachel Simmons "Rachel Simmons has written something really special here. Reading this book, I remembered several experiences that I had buried somewhere deep in my psyche. But more importantly, even as a grown woman, I find myself in situations like these (like I'm back in eighth grade) and this book has really been a huge help in recognizing this sort of behavior immediately. This is a book that every woman who felt 'left out' or like an outsider in school should read, and a book that every parent of a daughter should read. Keep in mind that this book doesn't solve the problem, it only identifies it - but that's half the battle, and it's one that Rachel Simmons has won triumphantly."

 

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys    by Daniel J. Kindlon, Michael Thompson, Dan Kindlon, Teresa Barker (Contributor) "I could easily rate this book 6 stars or more and cannot say enough about all the helpful insights it has to offer. I'm the mom of an 8 year old boy who's life is about to improve because I read this book. I consider myself an okay mother, but I am always open-minded about improving my parenting skills. The information I've learned by reading "Raising Cain" is incredibly enlightening, and so valuable to me I feel like I hit the jackpot. Anyone wanting to parent their son(s) better needs to read this book. I want to buy copies of it to pass around to a number of friends of mine who are raising boys, as well as several teachers I know who would appreciate this insightful material to help them in their classrooms. I've gotten involved with my son's school as a Parent-Teacher Organization "mom" not only to touch base with my son more often but also to reach out to students who might not get as much attention as they need in over-crowded classrooms, and this book is proving to be a valuable tool filled with information to help me be more effective in understanding the boys whose lives I can hopefully influence for the better."

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls    by Mary Pipher "This book is not to provide the parents of teenage girls with all the answers. Instead, it's a call to all of us to open our eyes to the pressures and concerns of our teenage daughters (and sons, for that matter) and start asking the questions. It is arrogant and dangerous to assume that our own daughters will escape unharmed from this difficult time.

I was especially surprised while reading this book how my own adolescent "challenges" came back to me. As I look back on my life, it's amazing how many important, pivotal moments occurred during the fog of my teenage years. It has given me renewed passion to do all that I can to be supportive, understanding and available for my children."

 

Understanding and Helping Children of Conflicted and Violent Divorce, Janet R. Johnston, Vivienne RosebyIn the Name of the Child : A Developmental Approach to Understanding and Helping Children of Conflicted and Violent Divorce    by Janet R. Johnston, Vivienne Roseby (Amazon.com editorial book explains this book the best. The authors "bring their extensive research and clinical experience to a detailed examination of the immediate and longer-term effects of high-conflict divorce on children. The authors trace the developmental problems affecting very young children through adolescence, with special attention to the impact of family violence and the dynamics of parental alienation. They describe the clinical interventions that have proven to be most effective in their work with individual families and groups along with principles for custody decision making and service programs in the courts and communities that help manage the conflict. In the Name of the Child will be an invaluable asset to clinical social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, mediators, family law attorneys, judges, and teachers who work with children of divorce. This book has also been recommended for families)."

 

The Co-Dependent Parent: Free Yourself by Freeing Your Child,Barbara Cottman BecnelThe Co-Dependent Parent : Free Yourself by Freeing Your Child    by Barbara Cottman Becnel "(Now in paperback, the honest, challenging, and life-sustaining book on parent-child relationships that no parent can afford not to read--featured twice on the Oprah Winfrey Show)."

When Children Grieve : For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses by John W. James and Russell Friedman "Everyone deals with grief at some point. "When Children Grieve" by John James and Russell Friedman is an amazingly helpful book. After the recent death of a dear friend, I needed help in understanding grief from a child's perspective. This easy to read book explains that it's healthy to grieve, and that adults need to allow children time to heal. "Children need to feel bad when their hearts are broken. Adults should never try to fix a child's loss."
Also, the book explains that grief doesn't just come from death, but instead can be motivated by divorce, pet loss, moving and even a parent's job loss. Grief stems from sudden change in ritualistic behavior. As adults, it is our role to facilitate the child's emotions by helping them discover "undelivered communications." This book teaches adults how to reach out to children and guide them through difficult times. It's a must read for all parents who want to encourage emotional growth and mental wellbeing in their children."

 

1